No more Olympics outside Paris
Faced with the soaring cost of the Olympic Games, the organizers had to face the facts: it was impossible to hold events outside Paris. So no more sailing events in Marseille or surfing in Polynesia. Everything will be held in the capital, which should give rise to some original arrangements and the creation of new disciplines.
Surfing the Seine
Paris isn't Polynesia, and not just because the color of the water in the Seine isn't that of a coral lagoon. In fact, the swell will be artificial! Swell beaters will be installed at the foot of the Champ de Mars to create the perfect wave. To limit energy requirements, passers-by will be invited to pedal to charge the batteries powering the beaters. In addition to this static wave, barges will be circulating for an endurance test where surfers will have to stay in their wake as long as possible. It's a long way from Peniche in Portugal!
Kitesurfing bridge jumps and boat models
In the absence of a long enough distance on the Seine to allow kitesurfers to play with speed, and to create the show, the discipline's specialists will have to jump bridges, performing tricks. To ensure sufficient wind, fans will be installed on the banks of the Seine, again powered by the calves of spectators.
With the Grand Bassin de Versailles not having been used for sailing since Louis XIV, the dinghy sailors selected will have to make do with the Bassin des Tuileries in a new discipline: non-remote-controlled wooden model regattas. Faced with this last-minute change, the FFVoile is looking for coaches in elementary school to support the technical director.
Anger in Marseille and Polynesia
Following the announcement of the cancellation of the Marseilles events, anger is rising in the Vieux-Port. The yachtsmen interviewed are outraged: "If it's like that, we'll invent Olympic disciplines too. Counter-Olympics in conjunction with the Polynesians, with a Marseille chard regatta and a kitesurfing tour of the Frioul islands."
